you are not alone.

as i sit here in my bed, without the company of kathryn, i find myself with so many thoughts that i’m not sure how i’ll actually get them out into words in this blog…but for you all, my faithful bloggers, i will do my best to convey what has been going on lately in this mind.

again and again i find myself at ease with the life i am living. though i am far from the circle of people i love from the States [and trust me, the distance can, at times, seem like too much] i am reminded of how pure and how stunningly holy it is that i am here. difficulties and frustrations are present but as i’m sure much of the rest of the world can agree, wherever you travel, wherever you decide to live and plant yourself, life is never perfect. his love is perfect though and i have to remind my heart of this all the dang time.

things with suubi are going so well. we continue to visit the women at their homes and at the English and literacy classes. we all love getting to know them. at times my mind tricks me into thinking a normal emotion to feel when being out there with the women and hearing about their lives would be ‘sympathy’ but i am quick to remind myself that they don’t need or necessarily want sympathy. i think that for me, personally, a better word to describe what i feel when i see them and visit the and talk with them would be desire. i desire to know them more. i desire to know their families. i desire to know their entire story. i desire to have their story be known by all [because they would surely change others]. i desire for their stories to be known so that help may be given. not a help that comes from simply feeling ‘sorry’ for them but a help that comes deep within a heart. the kind of help that comes not out of guilt but the help that understands that they too are people with needs. real needs that perhaps i, or maybe someone i know, may be able to meet. feeling sorry for them does no good because chances are, they have a better grasp of what joy is than we in our American ‘comfort’ do.

i’m learning that though it’s easy to group or categorize those who are practically forced to live in poverty into specific roles or emotions, that is not our place, nor are those roles/emotions typically accurate. i’ve talked to so many Americans who believe that a person is living in poverty because they choose it…or because they are lazy…or because they aren’t good enough and it’s astonishing because these assumptions are usually so far from the truth of the matter. though i can’t speak for all, i’ve found that here in Uganda it’s generally a cycle. a cycle that started way before you were born or even thought of. it’s a cycle that your great-grandparents went through and it’s a cycle that you will have to go through.

all of that said, all i really want to convey is how hard so many people here work. they work day [and maybe night] for their families and for each other. they continue to labor so that they may help those around them. they may be sick or they may be injured or they be quite old, but they work. they work so that their children and grandchildren might have a brighter future than maybe they had themselves.

just yesterday morning Courtney, Rachel [other suubi volunteers] and i were talking with norahs [a suubi lady] grandson and he was explaining that though he’s graduated from a university here, it’s still hard to find work right away. but he went on to explain a little bit of his heart…he explained that though the current situation is hard, he knows that one day his work will pay off. he knows that if he continues to push through this time, his efforts will one day pay off for him and his family. he expressed how it bothers him that his grandmother has to work so hard at such an age. he expressed how he wants to change things. i admire him for this and i thank God for stories like these because i know that this young man of 23 is not alone. his story is so similar to others. they work hard because they desire more. like i’ve said before, they have hope. they know they are not alone. they know that the One who really knows their deepest needs hasn’t abandoned them.

* * *

i’ve been blessed with the continued involvement with the childrens home not far from jinja. though they do not have much, they are all happy. it’s nice because now that the children are getting used to having white people around every once in a while and they are, “slowly by slowly” opening up and we’re beginning to see fun little personalities come out of them!

a quick but BIG thank to you to brad and carrie ficke for contributing funds towards this home. your donation is being used to buy food for the children and they are so happy to receive it!!

i’ve posted a couple of pictures from my recent time there and if you wish to see more, there is a link to my facebook album further down this page.

if anyone reading this wishes to contribute to this home where close to 70 beautiful children reside, contact me. we can figure something out and if you want, you can choose how your money is spent on the children. it could be fun! let me know (:

* * *

like i mentioned in the first paragraph, Kathryn, my dear friend and travel companion for the first two months of my time here, left for the States monday morning. although it was incredibly hard to see her go [emphasis on the incredibly hard] i know and i trust that her going back to Washington was in the perfect timing that only the Lord knows and completely understands. it’s a strange feeling not to being sharing a room, a bathroom, a bed and most importantly my days with her but i know that i’ll be okay. i won’t stop missing her and loving her but i’ll be okay…His mercies are new each morning.

i have other friends here that i am excited to get to know better and i now only have about 5½ weeks until my sister comes for a month long visit!

i know my days will be filled with the women of suubi, the children of the home and the presence of friends and i am so looking forward to the twists and turns that are coming up in life. no matter what happens, i am praying that my heart remains open to whatever it is that He has in store and that i would, in all circumstances, acknowledge the good and have hope in something bigger than myself or the world in which we live.

i appreciate your prayers and your fun words of encouragement. a couple of weeks ago a shirt was given to me and on it, it says ‘i’m not forgotten’. i thank you all back in the States for assuring me that i am not forgotten. keep me updated on your lives because i am sure that they are full of things that i would enjoy hearing and learning from. you all are the best.

time keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking

and here is the updated that i have unfortunately had such a hard time putting together for you all.
speaking of 'you all'...i don't know who exactly that is!
let me know if you're reading this! (: (:

i haven't exactly 'proofed' this blog...sorry in advance for the mistakes!

* * * *

i’ve recently taken on a job with the non-profit, light gives heat [lightgivesheat.org] specifically with their suubi project [suubiafrica.org] and so far, so good. it's primarily a project with the purpose of providing the women in Walukuba, Uganda with a steady income through the buying of necklaces in Uganda and then selling them in the States. but really, with suubi, it goes much further than ‘the business’. suubi is, at the heart of it all, a relationship. a relationship with the women in these communities, a relationship with the volunteers in Uganda and a relationship with those who hear their story in America. it’s a project that comes full circle…a project that desires not only to assist in bettering the lives of the Ugandan women and their families but they desire a change in the hearts of the Americans who hear their story.

every human, man or women, adult or child, rich or poor, has a beautiful story that deserves to be told and suubi understands this and wants the stories of these women to be know. i am positive that as i continue to get to know the women and learn their stories, my heart and life will be transformed. i am so excited to know the hearts of these women.

i’ve had many thoughts lately and here is a quote that i think helps put thoughts into words. it’s a long quote but stick with me…

“The truth is that we, in our hyperprosperity, may be able to live without meaning, faith or purpose, filling our threescore years and ten with a variety of entertainments—but most of the world cannot. If economics is implicated in the conflict, it is mostly in an ironic sense: only an abundance of riches such as no previous generation has known could possibly console us for the emptiness of our lives, the absence of stable families and relationships, and the lack of any overarching purpose…. Normal people {that is, the rest of the world}, however, cannot exist without real meaning, without religion anchored in something deeper than existentialism and bland niceness, without a culture rooted deep in the soil of the place where they live.”

-excerpt from the book ‘why the rest hates the west’

these words are dripping with truth. whether or not we’d like to admit it, they hold significant amounts of truth…they are indeed a reality. these words challenge my heart in the way i think…the way i live…the way i interact.

when the quote talks of how ‘the rest of the world’ cannot exist without real meaning, i see that in the lives of so many here in uganda. in the midst of tragedy, poverty and truly unthinkable circumstances, there lies a mysterious presence of hope, love, joy and provision. it’s one of the most wonderful sights i’ve ever seen in my life. more than almost any other time in my life, i see the people around me refusing to believe that this is all there is. they, more than i believe i have ever done, are seeing the ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ and believing that it’s true. believing that it’s good. believing that it’s pure.

[inspired by a song sara groves sings]

the courage that these women have makes me ask myself what i’m afraid of.

“do not be afraid little flock for it has pleased your Father to give you the kingdom.”

luke 12

i’m not sure about you, but if a Holy God is promising a kingdom, that shouldn’t leave much room for my little heart to worry. especially considering that when this Holy God that i am in love with says ‘kingdom’, he is not just talking about an earthly, material kingdom but a kingdom that extends much further than our minds can conceive. a kingdom that meets every need, every true desire, every hardship with a smile and a True Solution.

as i am here learning, loving and living in uganda, africa, i am desiring to see the kingdom of God come in a little closer to not just my heart but to all of those around me. i am working towards a more true love towards all. i am trusting that the sacrifice of Jesus was, is and will always be enough for me and every human i see. i am learning that i don’t have all the answers. i am hoping that with lovesick glance i receive from Him, my heart will fall deeper in love with the One who created me.

i will continue to keep you all updated on the organization that i talked about in my previous blog...exciting things are happening, truly.

thanks for being with me on this pursuit of something larger than myself.

without any hesitation, i would absolute love to hear how your lives are.

it’s getting to that time in my stay here that comments/emails/messages from those i love in states are getting few and far between. please friends and family…i truly wish to know how you are! leave a comment…send an email…my heart rejoices in your lives.

geez. i'm bad at this.

sorry.
i haven't updated in 10 years.
i'm horrible.

in the next few days, i hope to write you all an update.
you deserve it.

until then, know i am doing well.
God is good and He's making His ways known.

love you.

read it and weep, kids.

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i apologize for the length of this blog...
i've been horrible about updating.
the longer i wait, the longer the blog
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let me get this out of my system and then we'll move on..

there have been many moments of frustration in the past week.

i’m seeing/recognizing that we all walk a very fine, very dangerous line when we start treating those around us with a complete lack of respect, dignity and especially love. also, i’m not sure which is worse…to treat people like that or to be on the receiving end of it. in my heart of hearts i just don’t know what to do or say anymore

i’m praying for continued patience in all areas of my life. when the situations that are going on in my life are present, it feels like an uphill climb to remain patient and to love without hesitation. i read yesterday about how God changes our character with the passion of His love. it has become my prayer that, that would happen not only in my heart but your heart and the heart of others as well. that the love of God would go before us…that the LOVE of God would surround us all in ways that we can’t even imagine.


now moving on.


“…having confessed that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. for those who say such things make it clear that they are seeking a country of their own…but as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one.” Hebrews 11:14,16

what a fallen world we live in.
what a blessing it is that this earth isn’t our home.

as a people of faith, we need to be living in the reality that what we see around us [the earth] isn’t our true home. i’ve found that there is a deep longing in our heart for more. more love. more truth. more hope. more faith. more of the Holy One. when heaven holds our hearts, we gain a more eternal perspective. and an eternal perspective is crucial as a follower of Christ.

as i look into the faces of the children, women and men, i am reminded that i am looking at a reflection of Christ. each and every one of us was created in the image of God. the amount of respect, dignity, reverence and love we need to be giving to each human is immeasurable.

because lets face it, folks…
we all love ourselves enough…
it’s about time that we start loving others in the same manner.




moving on [again]


the 4 of us [josh, kathryn, ian and i] have begun a relationship with a newly established organization and it has been nothing but a huge blessing. it’s a children home that includes a school that is nursery school through P2. there are approximately 70 children and they arrrrre wonderful. there is also a widows program and i just can’t explain it all but it’s a blessing beyond compare. they are so incredibly gracious and welcoming and loving and accepting. we visited last Tuesday and decided to go back Sunday afternoon with clothes and some food.

it was such a JOY to be able to hand out shirts and dresses to the children. [i’ve posted three pictures here on my blog but i’ve posted many more on my facebook account. there is a link at the end of this blog]. some of the children came to us as scared as can be of the ‘white people’ while other children ran over to us with a huge smile on their face and skip in their feet as they went away. after they received their clothes, Kathryn was there handing out little pieces of candy for them…they loved loved loved it all!

although we weren’t able to get them a huge amount of food, we stopped off and got 13kg of rice and 16kg of beans before we got there. because there are so many of them, it will probably only last them 4 or 5 meals but at least a few meals will be a little more nutritious than they are accustomed to!

very quickly, i want to say thank you to my DAD!
because most of this would not have been possible without him!
i love you!

we will be going back to this place in the next few days. we are going to be getting allllllll the kids at least one round of deworming pills. hopefully their big ol’ stomachs will start to shrink (: i’m also praying about the possibility of getting these children tested not only for malaria but HIV/AIDS. given that they live in a village and poverty is overwhelming, it’s almost guaranteed that none of them have been tested for HIV. i’m not sure how all of this testing will happen though because i know of no medical personnel here in Uganda that would be able to get out to this village and who would be able to perform the needed tests. it would require getting these children into town and into a clinic to be tested. between transportation costs and medical costs, we just don’t have the funds to do this yet.

if you’d like to help out, that’d be more than amaaaazing!
you have no idea how far $10 can go here…no idea!
if you’d like to contribute to this specific need,
please please please let me know!
because the sooner, the better for these children.


so i was thinking about it and i decided that...
i’m pretty sure that 6 months from now, i’ll still be riding down the road on a piki and i’ll still be looking around thinking to myself ‘geez, this is really my life’ and i'll still be thanking God for LIFE!

i can’t count the number of times i tell God ‘thanks’ in one days time.
i don’t deserve any of this…not one bit.
but praise God for he doesn’t look at what we deserve.
his grace is enough and his love endures.

thanks for the encouragement.
it’s good to know i’m not alone…
you all are truly wonderful.







pictures are none.
the internet is not working in my favor today.
sorry folks :(
maybe tomorrow!

edit:
pictures have arrived on my facebook!
here is the link (:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2174485&l=133ee&id=17022221
enjoy!!

long time coming.

i wrote this approximately 5 days ago.
its just now getting up here - sorry

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“home is where the heart is”

we’ve all heard the saying. we’ve all probably rolled our eyes at how completely cliché it sounds. but whether you think it’s ridiculous or not, it’s my prayer that one day you will experience it.

I know now more than ever that heaven is our eternal home and nothing on this earth has ever, will ever or can ever take that away from us as believers in Christ but what a joy it is to be where your heart is…to be where the Lord has led you. for me, whether I am riding down the road on the back of a piki looking at the sun reflect off of the River Nile or holding a child because they fell down the steps or walking by a group of school children who are dancing around in circles in their underwear…my heart is absolutely soaring. i cannot imagine a more pleasing spot for me to be.

being here of course has it’s frustrations but recently it’s just made me laugh because almost every single one of the frustrations doesn’t come from the people of Uganda or the ‘typical’ African situations most seem to get frustrated with. i’m recognizing more than ever how vitally important attitude is and how crucial the need for love is. in all situations. in all circumstances. in all relationships. in all of our weeks, days, hours and minutes. in thinking about these situations and how the presence of Christ’s love is often lacking, i’m just reminded of the verse that talks about how the love of Christ controls us. i am but a human and so my life is a far cry from speaking and living this truth out 100% of my days, but God is moving. i believe that even in recognizing my shortcomings, the glory of God is being revealed. not for my sake or your sake but His alone.

i’ve also learned in the recent weeks [in a new way] that if we say we are serving others in the name of Christ, our actions sure as heck better be showing that. i am my own person and though the strength of God is with me and is strong, dealing with the problems that other ‘Christians’ have left behind is hard. in all of the frustrations of the day, whether big or small, i am attempting to weave grace in and out of all that i do. if you desire to pray for me, i would ask that you would join me in this prayer: that the grace of God that i’ve come to know is good enough and deep enough for me would be extended to all of those around me without hesitation.

my time at Amani Baby Cottage isn’t exactly full time anymore but i’m okay with that. i still plan on spending as many afternoons as possible there loving on, caring for and serving the children. little josie is doing good. i am praying for continued strides towards better health and further physical and mental development. she has so much potential, she just needs to be worked with on a one on one basis on a regular basis. when she’s not being ridiculously stubborn, you can find her ‘crawling’ around towards whatever has grabber her attention. she loves bath time and she [usually] loves to be tossed into the air. though she is not legally ‘mine’, i consider her as nothing but a gift in my life. may the Lords way and will be done in our lives (: (:

if you couldn’t already tell, i’m absolutely loving my time here. there are up days and there are down days but so goes life, right? i’ve found myself saying it over and over, again and again but i just can’t believe this life is mine. this life that i am living is a gift from God and i am doing my best to protect and treasure it.

i know that i probably don’t make a whole lot of sense at times but thank you for taking the time to read all of my ramblings. thanks for reassuring me that i’m not alone in what i do and what i desire. as i write this, i am praying that whoever you and wherever you come from, the complete joy and indescribable goodness of the Lords would be yours.

feel free to comment or email me or whaaatver you’d like to do.
i would love to hear from you.
let me know how i can be praying for you.

our God is big.
julie


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a few more pictures:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=35582647&l=77274&id=17022221

in addition to that blog, i would ask for prayers.
much has been brought to my attention.
the Lords direction needs to be directing my steps.
i am praying. the burden is heavy. the Lord makes it light.
more on all of this mumbo jumbo later.

sorry for the lack of 'blogging' folks.

i have had one written on my computer for over 2 days now but i haven't been able to get my laptop hooked up to the internet since then. hopefully in the next 2 days i'll be able to put it up so you all can read!

until then, know i am safe. i am sound. and i am in love with this place.
pray for direction.
i want to be able to meet the needs i see in a Holy, responsible way.

Eight days down, 300+ to go?

Though my days here are still in the single digits, I feel as though weeks and weeks have passed since I landed last Wednesday. The days are filled with kids and walking and laughing and conversations and lots and lots of love. Each morning that I wake up and feel the cool breeze on my skin, I’m reminded again and again in a very gentle way that it is GOOD that I am here. Not just good because I like it here but good because God desires it in my life. I am doing my best to live that out in my every day actions and lets just say that I’m finding it it’s quite easy to do when all I see are beautiful faces and beautiful land.

I’ve been spending the majority of my time at Amani Baby Cottage, the same place I was at for 5 months last year. It’s been such a blessing to have a place to go and just love kids. After trying to process a lot of things I think that I decided that even though 100% of my time will not be spent at Amani during my time here, it will always hold a special place in my heart. It’s the first place I came in Uganda and it’s the place that God used to show me so much about love. So even though things may pick up in the next few weeks with various other things, Amani will be my ‘home base’ and I’ll be visiting quite often.

In the next couple of days I will be meeting with 2 girls to talk about organizing/planning/teaching an English classes for the women in the Suubi project. [For the sake of time, I’d invite you to visit the website [suubiafrica.org] to learn more about Suubi.] We will be brainstorming and attempting to come up with creative ideas to teach these women the English language. As time progresses, there are hopes of also starting a Lugandan [a language here] language class for the international Suubi volunteers. I think we’ll be taking things one step at a time though (:. With Suubi allowing us as volunteers to have some freedom in what we want to do and what we think should be done will be a lot of fun I think. I’m really excited to be working with such a neat and creative organization.

Even after having delayed flights, cancelled flights, a serious lack of sleep and getting to Uganda later than I was supposed to…God was faithful and took care of me.
Even after having some problems with my phone when all I wanted to do what communicate with people back home…God was faithful and took care of me.
Even after accidentally taking medicine I’m allergic to, following that with many anti-histamines, my throat closing up and my breathing getting quite shallow…God was SO faithful and took GOOD care of me.

There is so much ahead of me…I can barely wait to see what happens…to see how the Lord is going to choose to work in my life. I know that whatever it is, it’ll be good. Although I am excited for the future, rest assured that I am definitely loving life NOW. Walking through town, reading a book to kids, holding my dear little Josephine [she’s the one pictured below], laughing with my friends, reading the Word of God and finding comfort, peace, assurance and joy, making silly faces with the 6 girls that live in the house I’m staying with…..it’s all my life and all I can do is love every minute of it.

I’m incredibly thankful that I’m not left alone to live this life. Not only do I have the constant presence of the Lord, I have the constant encouragement of my family and friends and random people who I meet along the way.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, whether you found this blog randomly or on purpose…thanks for joining me on this journey. I’ll do my best to keep you all updated. Feel free to comment or email or…do whatever.

Love.
Love.
Love.
Always.

here is a link to more pictures:
http://ksu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2174485&l=51e86&id=17022221