it was good.

i am in the chicago airport.

getting ready to board a plane back to kansas.

this past week in calgary, a lot happened in my heart.

a lot of reassurance of the good things God has in store.

a lot of challenging questions were brought up that need to be examined.

a whole lot of love was exchanged between josh and i.

never before did i think i could experience such a blessing.

but let me tell you...

having the sweet Lord put someone in your life that LOVES you

and having Him put love in your heart for someone else...

is one of the greatest things in the world.

josh and i have a long path ahead of us.

we already see the twists and turns up ahead

but we're thankful we're walking together.

Jesus teaches us so much in and through love.

more to come soon.

blessings friends.

the days are gifts.

the time is near.

i leave in less than 48 hours for calgary, alberta.

to see that guy. isn't he just so cute?!

[he's also so wonderful to me]

my parents gave me tulips for valentines day.

there's a hot postponed valentines date in store for josh&i next week.

this has NEVER ever been a problem for me but...

i'm having a hard time cutting back on what shoes i pack for calgary.

here's a riddle for you all in the blog world...

what's kelly green, burnt orange and ivory?

[answer to come soon]

until then, be fruitful and increase in number and fill the world.

uh...wait. no that's not what i meant. hah.

coming soon..

this boy has turned me into the emotional sap that i swore i'd never be.

i see him in one week.

can't go back.

it's a new season friends.

there is a good amount of happy.

there is a good amount of shitty.

i'm ok with it all right now.

can't seem to catch a break when it comes to learning things.

whatever. it's probably best that way.

helped two little girls make necklaces tonight from suubi beads.

it was fun to be with them but it wasn't the same as sitting in one of those ladies homes and eating matoke with them and insisting they didn't buy me a pop.

it will never be the same.

i will never be the same.

i miss sneaking up behind betty and scaring her and then getting into tickle fights with her. they usually backfired on me when josh and her would team up to get me.

yeah. i'll never be the same...

where do we go?

i just hung up the phone with my joshua.

as i closed my phone, i heard the delightful screams of kymbi

i found myself crying and i thought to myself...

what the hell is going on???

why am i not in uganda with that beautiful child and his mother???

this has been one of the hardest days since being back.

i am praying that the Lord doesn't leave my side

because i am uncontrollable without Him.

where do we go when we don't even know where we're at?

"here in my darkest hour, you remind me of how faithful you are."

i'll write more later.

a new day.

so here we are on one the most historical days ever in regards to politics and racial equality our nation has ever seen.

as i was doing my thang on the elliptical machine at my 'fitness club' today, FOX News [sick blech] was on one of the tv's. though it's not my news channel of choice, i had no other election based option and really, i guess it was ok because at this point, it was only the parade being shown. anyways. i started thinking about this whole day and what it means for our country and what it COULD look like for our country and the thoughts just kept coming.

i was thinking about how it's slightly funny that so many americans support and trust the new president [not just obama, any president]. i just feel like it's so out of the ordinary for so MANY americans to place so much hope in one man when it's not guaranteed that he will succeed in what is expected of him. i am not saying that we should not get behind a candidate and support them, it just struck me for a minute how that's not usually how the american people work. we usually like to have things lined up and figured out and set in stone before we really commit to them. put i suppose that's the world of politics? nothing is ever set in stone.

all of that said...i am, like many americans, support obama. he was the one that caused me to shout and jump up and down in uganda when i heard the news he was elected president on november 4. he was the one i voted for, he was the one i trust and hope to do the best job for our country. knowing he has so much ahead of him [SO MUCH], it's my hope that the america people will stick with him and do their best to treat him as a respected leader. knowing he won't do everything we want or he'll make choices we don't all necessarily agree with, i hope we're able to maintain an ample amount of respect and honor. we're so quick to get on the presidents case when things don't go our way but try to imagine the weight and pressure of such a position. his humanness will surely show in the upcoming months and years but keep in mind that he's in the same boat as we are...the human boat of mishaps and mess-ups.

oh i hope good things for the next 4 years.

to the men and some of the women who could probably care less about 'cuteness', please ignore the next line.

the obama family is adorable and his two girls are so cute. what nice little ladies.

in honor of such a day, i am listening to derek webbs politically charged album, mockingbird.

i've enjoyed this [free] album for so long now. there is so much meaning behind the lyrics.

so many thoughts about how to personally fuse the two worlds of faith and politics.

faith and politics. quite the subject if you want to ask me.

"let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter, and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations."

-taken from barack obama's inauguration speech

      1.20.2009

in completely different news, i want the world to know how blessed i am by this guy:

i can't believe that i have the opportunity and blessing of calling him mine.

he believes in me. he cares about me. he brings me sanity when i need it most.

i'm learning from him.

being with him and loving him has been quite a journey and...

i'm glad it's not over.

whether you're freezing cold, burning hot or somewhere in the milder sections of the country,

enjoy your day.

may peace be yours.

it's cold

"...those orange juice drinking floridan sissys....i'm going there next week."
"haHAhahaHA" [creepy laugh]

--new york city man talking of how cold florida is
on the TodayShow



it's cold here in most of america. SO COLD. there is a chance that my ass will actually freeze itself off. when i woke up this morning, the wind chill was -13. i am not used to this people. i know i've been back for just over two weeks but come on! i had over 10 months of solid warmth and now THIS? oh geez.

the cold is not the cause but...
i may be on the move in the upcoming months.
good-bye kansas, hello....some other state?








being away from the PEOPLE/things i love the most is hard.
but i'm learning.