Tuesday, June 9, 2009

i have returned.

so people keep talking about how they want me to blog more.
but the thing is, no one really reads it. [at least to my knowledge]

right now, as i see it, i'm writing down my thoughts just so i can re-read them in a few months. that's pretty much how the blogging world works if no one 'follows' or reads.

regardless of whether or not this will be read or if it turns out to be for my own enjoyment down the road, i'll try and explain life these days.

i am, in fact still engaged to this hunk of a man:

[i showed this picture to my grandma this afternoon. she said 'he's a handsome man' and i said 'why yes, he is!' and then she pointed to me and said 'but you, i like that smile']

the wedding is now less than two months out.
and no, i'm not stressed with wedding planning.
[but yes, i am stressed about immigration.]

i have a dress [but it can't be revealed]
all the girls have dresses [but each has a different dress so it's too many pictures]
all the guys have tuxes [but i simply lack any pictures]
flowers have been ordered
decorations have been decided [but we don't set up/tear down...score!]

this day that will mark one of the most important events of my life is turning out to be a classier event than i ever thought it would be. thankfully, that is happening at no huge price tag. [in wedding terms that is] i cannot wait for that day to come.

my heart soars to think about not only being 'a bride' but
joshs bride.

i am committed, without any hesitation, to living out my days with joshua brian. i look forward to standing before josh in front of our friends and family on that august day and vowing my love and respect and honor to this man [who has truly exceeded any expection i had of what my husband would be].

looking to josh to complete me or to make me whole is not what i'm after. no human on this planet can fill every void or whole but i do look forward to josh being next to me. encouraging me, supporting me, loving me, praying for me.

my grandma is now in a nursing home. [that's an entirely different blog though] the first time i went and visited her there, i was slightly overwhelmed by many things. as i walked out of there, i had so many thoughts running through my head and the only thing i could seem to do is send josh a text message saying 'i just left the nursing home...i want to grow old with you. i love you so much'. and his response, which i love, was 'i love you too, so much. we can grow old and crazy together.'

i have experienced that there's a certain security in giving your love away to a trusting person.
when josh and i are near to one another [one week a month] i feel safer. more secure. more confident.
more of who i was created to be...his wife, his companion.
again, he doesn't make me whole or complete but he sure does add something to the mix...
( :


Rebekah said...

lets just say I love you thoughts words and how you seem to so easily put them into writing! I miss you lots and know that your day will be filled with joy, laughter, and lots of LOVE! can't wait!!

rachel rianne said...

hey i read! it doesn't show up, but i'm subscribed thru other means than blogger following, so don't you fret.

you're beautiful, and i'm excited for you, miss julie. love always.

lindsey brooke said...

27 weeks today! due 09.09.09 :)

Amber said...

I read your blog!!!! And was super excited to see a new post!!! Can't wait to hear about the wedding and see photos...its so awesome falling in love and getting married and starting such a fabulous journey (albiet the hardest one...but the most rewarding) together...thanks for sharing :)

sarah guerrie. said...

miss julie durkee.

i absolutely read this each and every time that you post something here. i think we need a phone date soon. [im back in uganda june 20 .. so lets do it before then]. i am so excited for you and josh. i cannot wait to meet this boy. i am disappointed that i will not be at the wedding, but you guys are in my prayers. seriously. i think of you often julie!


jaciranae. said...

hey i read it!!

carrie said...

I, too, am another follower of your blog. I love reading your posts...the beautiful way you convey your thoughts and feelings through words never ceases to inspire me.